Woodland turtles

I'm pleased to report that no turtles fell in the woods. Leaves did though. My Dog did the leaves ever fall! It was traumatic, considering the time I had several weeks of "extra duty" (punishment for being a dumbass) in the military wherein I would spend about 4 hours each evening raking leaves.

It started with a lovely flight from Honolulu to LA. Then from LA to Chicago. And finally from Chicago to Louisville, KY. I started at 1:30 min the afternoon and arrived at 6:30 AM. Let me tell you how wonderful it is to fly 4000 miles in coach when you're 6'1". Then I arrived at the rental agency to pick up the SUV I got such a great deal on on Priceline. As I could have predicted with Nostradamus-like powers, "I'm sorry, we don't have any SUVs in right now." This is not the first, or second, or even third time I have attempted to rent a specific type or model of vehicle. I have N E V E R gotten what I had agreed to in the contract that they would happily bind me to. But I digress...

"Would you be willing to take a truck?"

Did someone just say the T word? I love trucks. I'm on my third consecutive truck at home. And on a camping trip?! But renting a truck at a car rental place will usually set you back about $350 or more a week. I had managed by some magical powers to snag a (mythical) SUV for over $100 less than that for 8 days. And now they're offering me a truck for that price?

Not just a truck, either. A 2008 Toyota Tundra Double Cab 4x4 SR5 5.7L V8. A $31,000 truck. I'll be one of the first to tell you that I'm not a big fan of imports. Especially in the truck arena. It's not a fair bias anymore, but it is what it is. I'm a Ford guy. This was one helluva nice truck though. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I only sorta wish we hadn't stayed in a National Park so that I might have had a better opportunity to abuse it off-road somewhere.

But enough about the truck (for now). I drove south for a couple hours, picked up squirt, and continued on to Tennessee. We stopped off at the Bass Pro Shops in Sevierville, TN just outside of Knoxville and picked up some hiking shoes, hiking socks, and a sleeping bag for my daughter, and pepper spray for the occasional bear attack. We made another stop at Kroger and filled the cooler and then drove south into the Smokies. Nothing like setting up a tent at 8PM after a redeye and 300 miles of driving.

Let me tell you that this kid has her dad's legs (No you perv, they're not hairy)! She's a born hiker, and maybe someday she'll be a varsity runner, too. On our first warmup hike, we did a 3/4 mile loop, and she was practically begging to keep going - so we did another ~6 miles. I was surprised at how good we both felt at the end, but made the next day a driving/rest day anyways.

Or so I thought. We drove to the parking area at Clingman's Dome, the highest point in the Great Smokey Mountains National Park. The drive was beautiful. The steep 1/2 mile paved pathway was breathtaking as well. Literally. It felt like a lot more than 1/2 mile. The view was a mix of amazing and disgusting. It was, at one time, an awesome view, but now the smog limits visibility to around 20 miles. To be able to see how miserable the air is at somewhere that from the ground appears pristine is heart-wrenching. And for an extra heaping of guilt, we drove down to Cherokee, NC in the southern section of the park. Munchkin and I walked through the 5 or so gift shops selling the same tourist-trap items and watched a couple of native Americans "dancing for dollars" to once-sacred music. That's not to say that it wasn't interesting, but I think my perspective was (thankfully) much more depressing than my daughter's. To drive through those beautiful mountains and realize that they once were home to respectful people who "lived green" for thousands of years before it became cool eats at my conscience (That's my lot as a middle-age white male though. I get to feel guilty for most of the world's injustices).

So the next day, charged and ready, we headed out on our big hike. We had pored over the park maps the night before, carefully attempting to pick just the right number and length of trails to challenge but not kill us. We settled on a trail close to camp, with a large loop at the end like a lollipop. It was about 16 miles, according to the map. A lofty goal, for sure, but I figured we could double-back at any point and shorten it as needed. Next time, I'm bringing a topo map! What was difficult to see from the trail maps we had, was that the trails we chose were practically 99% uphill. We started at an elevation of 2300 feet, and climbed to 4600 feet within 5 miles. By that time we had long since cropped our distance goal down to a backcountry campsite just 1/2 mile ahead. We made a small fire, cooked a can of chicken, and had some of the most well-earned chicken fajitas ever.

Fortunately, the decent back down the mountain was amazingly easy and fast. It took us almost 4 hours to hike up, and less than 2 to hike back down. All told we probably consumed 3/4 gallon of water, 2lbs of snacks & food, and burned 312 gazillion calories. Well balanced with the nightly ritual of Smores over the campfire.




The trip was a blast. The munchkin and I unanimously decided that it should be an annual trip for us. If not to the Smokey Mountains at least, then camping somewhere. The next day we packed and said goodbye to the Smokies, but not the Appalachians.

Stay tuned for Woodland turtles, part 2.

Surprise! It's the fair!

Okay, so I'm obviously not as tuned into community events as I perhaps should be. The monkey and I were driving home from Longs after replenishing our supplies consisting of a new watch, plastic drinking cups, and matching sunglasses when I hear the announcement from the co-pilot seat. "Dada! Dada! Sphide Dada! Sphide! Biiiiig Sphide!"

There, in the community park amongst tents, jumpies, a pewee football game, and food booths is a 20-foot tall inflatable slide. Sweet! It's Saturday, I'm bored with a bored 20 month-old, and the weather is too overcast to take out the boat like I had planned. I'm totally down for some slide action if she is.

Well, we decided not to blow our wad all at once, so we started with the bouncy-house. That went over far better than expected. Lots of jumping, no major falls or collisions, and she loved every second of it.



Next we went on the wannabe teacups. This had me worried. She'd never been on a ride before, and this wasn't some quarter-fed plastic firetruck outside of Wal-Mart. It, too, was met with amazing success. No fear whatsoever. I don't know why I'm surprised. She'll sit in the kitchen and spin until she's too dizzy to stand, and then get up and do it again.



I told you we got matching shades. She insisted on wearing them, too. How I actually got this shot, by myself, on the first try, is among the list of mini-miracles today. My hair.... not so much.

Now, bolstered by the daring and success of our previous adventures, we faced the gigantor-slide, and one of us was too short (Sorry squirt, I'll stand on my toes next time). Bach to round 2 at the bouncy-house!!



Next up was the garden tractor in a train suit. It was satisfactory for her. I probably could have pushed the thing faster (At least, back in my early 20's I might have). My highly calibrated food sensors told me that it was time to find a precessed dead animal to consume, and squirt agreed. To top off the list of mini-miracles, we shared an entire Kalua Pork BBQ sandwich with no napkins, bib, or dropcloths and the shirt came out unscathed (Proof that she only makes messes at home because she enjoys getting cleaned by the dogs).



To top it off, we cruised the vendors. "Fowah dadi, flowah!!" Ahh yes. So, on the way out, she got to choose a flower for hard-working-mommy. Whaddayaknow? Purple!



The very best part was when we got home, I put her into her crib, I climbed into the bed in her room, and we took a 2 hour nap together!!!!!!!!!! Being a dad can be rough sometimes, but days like this make it rock!

I'm back, and I feel the same

Our trip to San Diego was fun overall. I spent two days doing tenant improvements on our rental there, and Sunday we celebrated my wife's 30th birthday with a big surprise party, so I didn't get to get out and do, well, anything. That's not so much of a gripe though. We all got to spend time with the in-laws including my daughter's cousin. Contrary to pop culture, I actually really like all of my in-laws. But then, I'm the black sheep so I'm sure it was better for me than it was for them...

Within 30 minutes of arriving in Cali I realized what a great choice we had made and how hard it would ever be to move back. We flew in on a redeye Wednesday night and came in early Thursday morning. We got the rental car and stopped in a bagel shop for breakfast. Sitting in Einstein Brother's in Point Loma, I saw almost every yuppie stereotype I could think of. It could only have been worse in a Starbucks. On the way out a woman tried to pull out of the parking spot next to me. She was in a chromed-out GMC Yukon with oversize rims and low profile tires that would surely pinch the sidewalls at the mere sight of a pothole. She was trying to pull out, talk with her trendy little phone against her ear, and apply makeup all at the same time. After 4 failed attempts in one direction, she made a 5 point turn the other way. I'm sure she was telling her friend that she didn't realize why all these people in the parking lot were staring at her while they waited for her to unblock the driveway.

An otherwise common occurrence was suddenly set in a completely new perspective. People here will completely block a lane of traffic to let people in out of "Aloha." As we flew out of LAX for home Monday morning, I saw the inversion layer of smog that blanketed Southern California at least to 5000 feet.
The smog, the traffic, the ultra-trendy culture; it's just not the same place as when I grew up. I might be able to handle Northern California, but I can't take So Cal anymore. I do miss the progressive and conservationist culture, but that's fodder for another post. This solidifies a view I've had since childhood. I love the mountains and the ocean. I can live without the ocean, but I really love mountains. I could easily live in Colorado, Oregon, Washington, and parts of Northern California. I don't have to compromise here though. The culture is great, and I can hike in the mountains and snorkel in the same afternoon. And my lungs will never suffer like those in California.