Cuteness, messiness, and eew!

The next three pictures will get progressively worse, depending on how easily you are disturbed. It will, however, reveal something about me you probably didn't know.


1. Apparently, even dogs blink when you snap the shutter.




2. Lasagna is still too fun to contain.




3. Turtles and chopsaws don't mix.



I told you so. The dude in the car was just trying to be like me.

Anyways, it's been almost 8 years since I lost a very strongly worded argument with a saw. Answers to the most popular questions;

Q. Did it hurt?
A. Not at all. Shock took care of that. Unfortunately, about 30 minutes later, shock wore off and the morphine hadn't completely kicked in yet. Then it hurt like hell.

Q. Do you ever have phantom pains or phantom feelings (like it's still there)?
A. Not at all.

Q. Can you still use your hand/finger?
A. I had an awesome hand surgeon and adjusted easily. I still have complete feeling in every part (that is left) of my finger. I do use my middle finger for most things that used to take an index finger, like left-clicking the mouse. Buttons are mildly annoying, but that's about it.

Q. Are you self-conscious about it?
A. Obviously not. Most people work with me days or even months before they notice it. When I did more commercial electrical work and wore gloves most days, some went years without noticing. It doesn't affect my work and I don't make a big deal about it. I screwed up once and it makes a good training aid from time to time when you want to drive home the topic of safety at work. Like I tell them , go to a hospital and ask an accident victim if they expected to end up there that day. I do feel a little weird waving to people behind me in traffic, because I know if I relax my ring finger it could easily be confused for giving them the bird.

Instant weight loss

Good child care is wonderful. My mom stayed home with me until I entered Kindergarten because she and dad believed that the benefits were worth the loss in potential income of two working parents. I tend to agree. Unfortunately, Wife and I already have well-established good-paying careers and it's just not very appealing to think of both of us renting a house and driving today's equivalent of the lime green and lemon yellow Ford Pintos that my parents did as they struggled *shudder*. The alternative is high quality and very expensive child care. Not a live in nanny or anything. We call it "school," because for all intents and purposes this is as close as a 1 year old can come to school. They play indoors and out, sing, read books, paint and do arts and crafts, and eat off of plates and drink out of cups (pacifiers and bottles are strictly prohibited!). Younger daughter gets great socialization skills and probably more mental stimulation that if I were to stay home with her. And then here comes the big, glaring, flaming negative: Colds.

I don't know what it is about herds of little kids, but they just seem to be sick magnets. Constantly acquiring and sharing new breeds of viruses until it blends into one giant snotfest. The latest gift my daughter has brought home (just in time for Mother's Day!) was a wonderful stomach flu. I've lost 6 pounds, or roughly 3/4 of a gallon, of fluids in the last two days from a netherregion where only solids should emerge.

The good news is I'm down to 170 lbs, which is where I'd prefer to be. The bad news is that I'll regain that weight as soon as I fix my leaking sieve. Perhaps I should try less than 6 sodas a day (I have been drinking only water and Gatorade while sick, but the Coke in the fridge still calls to me...) and a little more exercise, but that would be both tortuous and, well, work. I get enough work at work. Truth be told, I'd probably weigh closer to 190 if I didn't spend all day sweating, climbing ladders, crawling around houses and buildings, and making 50 trips to the utility truck with 20 lbs of tools strapped around my waist. I haven't liked voluntary exercise since High School. But I do love my job and the fact that it keeps me up and moving every day. Somehow, It's a lot easier when you're getting paid and there's tools involved. Uh!Uh!Uh! I'm suddenly feeling very Tim Allen. I think I'll grab my Sears Tool catalog and head to the bathroom. I'd better grab some extra paper, too...